she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
