Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
