the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
