Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
