I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
