is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
