I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I need moral support for this bender
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
