Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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