This is not my ceiling
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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