I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
