I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
40s are totally the cure
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
