your thong is hanging out like whoa
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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