i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
