Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
