just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dear god my vagina.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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