Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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