There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
