The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
farters have to be the big spoon...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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