Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
