I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i believe in u and ur pee
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
