Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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