Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize