just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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