watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
