Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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