My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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