YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
