I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
