HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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