entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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