i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
