we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
