Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize