my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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