im holly from the hills drunk
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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