He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
