Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
