bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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