Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
