nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
