I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she smelled like a LAN party
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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