remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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