I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize