Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
