I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
