i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
