Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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