party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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