So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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