I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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