forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
