When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
