I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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