apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
