Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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