I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
