I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
