The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
