I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
