the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize