and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
