i think my tv is drunk
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
